just realized how opposite they were- the 2 ‘traumas’. How that made the whole ‘ memory disorder’ as in that can be balanced at least and the possibility of be a bit of cosmic grace (karma: Future and past).
That mine is balanced and I’m able to be consider alternative outcomes.
Some suicide out. Kill their way out.
It was like packin’ Cerulian Blue concrete
the assault was the potential of death or being crippled.
the fifth man intervened.
(was it 5 or 6; Three in front and back or three up front two in the back).
Carter’s actual death was the opposite in that the assault was death visited upon me and Carter was me visiting death.
For those of us born into families and environments where there were not many options presented in terms of what we could become, every day living scenarios that seem simple to others, can present challenges. If you were taught that every day is a struggle the entire time that you were growing up, transcending that idea is an every day process. The catch is that sometimes the process of mentally transcending the struggle takes half the day and winds up making the rest of the day into a struggle. But everyone has their own versions of struggle and every day is a process of forgiveness, most notably of oneself.
For those of us who were born into the kinds of environments described above, find gratitude for those who raised you. Find gratitude that they kept a roof over your head and food in your belly. More importantly, find gratitude that…
My morning scramble began with a phone call to dig out some horses. (“Let’s go Supaman, get your cape on!” was what the voice on the phone said.).
I chugged some water, filled the tea kettle, brushed the teeth and looked for my winter clothes. I grabbed 4 packets of Starbuck’s Via (A backpacker’s new friend) and filled my stainless steel coffee travel mug with the boiling water and grains. I discovered this winter that I can turn it into a mobile mini pressure cooker for hot cereal! Its a quality mug (Contigo). I could get a cup of coffee at the gas station and add one of the packets of starbuck’s- despite Hazel breaking my press pot, this week- final exams, roofing, and landscaping required me to get back on the coffee:)
Last night we had an unseasonally large amount of wet snow- ‘heart attack’ snow in the…
It happens every time, and it happened again. Whenverver I come across W.S. Merwin, I begin a couple days of thinking with him. I posted a poem of his yesterday and I again spent time with his perspectives. I wrote that i don’t share his darknesses and that he is a king of ‘Somber Beauty’. What i mean by that, is That i do like Merwin- he makes me think he gives me a different pair of mental shoes to walk in. A pair that I wouldn’t have thought to put on myself. I trust Merwin, he is that good. He is the kindof person i wouldn’t feel anxious playing chicken against in cars on a dirt road on moonlit nights (hey, i’m from Michigan. we did things like that:) He is somebody who I wouldn’t mind walking into the wilderness with even though he’s a city kid. He is…
I bought two hand planes, a Stanley #9 with a corrugated bottom from a antique tool pro and a Stanley #118p from a local rancher.
More pics later. Sun is going down and I have some old wood over a heat lamp outside that I want to give some more special elixir to drink. I am experimenting with a Norse wooden boat recipe. It’s great smelling stuff, has pine tar, Linseed oil and Turp in it.