just realized how opposite they were- the 2 ‘traumas’. How that made the whole ‘ memory disorder’ as in that can be balanced at least and the possibility of be a bit of cosmic grace (karma: Future and past).
That mine is balanced and I’m able to be consider alternative outcomes.
Some suicide out. Kill their way out.
the assault was the potential of death or being crippled.
the fifth man intervened.
(was it 5 or 6; Three in front and back or three up front two in the back).
Carter’s actual death was the opposite in that the assault was death visited upon me and Carter was me visiting death.